I’m a naturally shy person. Always have been since I was little.
Small talk and conversations with strangers have always been anxiety-provoking for me, even in my native English language.
I remember when I tried to speak Mandarin for the first time in Taiwan and I was in a sweaty panic before even opening my mouth.
I was so afraid of how I would sound and what they would think about me.
I would fumble over my words and think how much of a fool they must think I am.
This would continue for a long time into my learning journey.
But this is why I love language learning.
Learning Chinese Helped Me Overcome My Shyness.
Learning Chinese constantly pushes me outside of my comfort zone.
There’s a type of therapy to treat anxiety called Exposure Therapy in which your therapist creates a safe environment to expose you to your fears.
When I think about my Chinese learning journey, I think of it as one giant DIY Exposure Therapy experiment. It is constantly challenging me to face my fears in a safe environment (I won’t die).
My fears of making a mistake, sounding silly, having a poor accent, sounding awkward, talking to strangers, etc., etc.
Normally I would avoid these activities but because I really want to learn Chinese and I’m in an environment where I need to speak Chinese, I am forced to face my fears.
And over repeated exposure to the same stimulus that seemed scary at first, my fear and shyness began to magically shrink.
The shyness is still there, but there is now a deep confidence despite the shyness and fear that I can overcome it, because I have so many times in the past.
Attack Your Fears.
I often hear learners say they don’t feel confident speaking. Do you know what happens next? They don’t speak. It’s a vicious cycle.
The key to overcoming not feeling confident is to do it anyway when you’re not confident. If you’re afraid to speak, speak more.
The first time I went to the local phone store in Taiwan to buy a SIM card I was terrified. I could barely understand what the rep was saying. The technical jargon around SIM cards, phone plans, data plans, prepaid cards, etc. was overwhelming.
I was a confused mess but I tried to slowly communicate using my basic vocabulary. I managed to get the SIM card but I left the store feeling defeated and demotivated about my Chinese.
Recently, I went back again to buy another SIM card and to my surprise, I understood much more compared to the first time.
The first time you try something new will always be hard. But it gets easier.
I always learn the most after a challenging experience.
Difficulty and challenge stimulate improvement.
There are ways to do this in a safe environment. This is why I recommend recording yourself speaking for beginners and following the Copy Paste Speak System, or practicing with trusted partners or a good coach/teacher.
But there’s no way to avoid speaking and expect to magically become more confident. You can only prepare and “study” for so long before you have to take the plunge and face your fears.
Growth is always on the other side of your fears.
Find Supportive Communities.
Everyone deals with insecurities when learning a new language whether you are naturally shy or not.
It was very helpful for me to surround myself with fellow language learners who understand the struggles I faced. There is a comforting feeling to knowing that I’m not the only one out there dealing with the same thoughts.
I can confide in others going through the same thing. I can share my struggles. We can motivate each other.
Online forums, language exchange groups, and local meetups can provide invaluable support and encouragement along the way.
Communities can also provide valuable feedback from native speakers or other learners to help see blind spots or improve on mistakes.
This is why the Speak Chinese Program focuses on personalized feedback and a supportive community to help you get conversational fast.
Language learning is not just about learning a language. You learn to overcome your shyness, insecurities, uncertainties and fears.
It’s not easy but that’s also why it’s so rewarding.
Language learning is an opportunity to grow and become the person you want to be.
I'm opening the next batch for Speak Chinese Program next week so you can get personalized support and a community to help you overcome your fears and reach conversational freedom in Mandarin.
Reply “SPEAK” and I’ll send you the details.
循序渐进,
Danyo
PS Here are some other ways I can help you level up your Chinese:
Copy Paste Speaking Course: The system I used to improve my listening, and pronunciation and start having conversations in Chinese. Now $50 off. For how long I’m not sure.
Language Learner OS: The digital system I use to help organize my language studies, track vocabulary/flashcards, remember more, and learn faster! Now $20 off. I’m not sure for how long.
Refer friends, get free rewards!
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